The Rue

 I finally got internet service restored after at least three days of arguing. Rural living is relatively inexpensive, and quite beautiful except when humanity decides to be human. Living in the middle of nowhere not being able to drive, complicates life. It’s been said maybe a digital detox is good.  Theoretically, yes, digital detox is good,  It feels a little different when it is forced not chosen. The internet is my connection to the outside world. These past three days have been isolating. Making matters worse is explaining all this to a company who doesn’t seem to give a darn. To have employees laugh at your plight. Not having pride in your work, or just general respect for another human being. I don’t know what we’re lacking in America, but we are lacking something so basic and fundamental.  I had to miss church waiting on help.  It came hours later. Service is restored. As I was watching church today, a pastor said something that has me rethinking how I ...

 Keep the focus On what I can control I’m not To cry Tears Because  I can’t fix Something That hurts My soul And sometimes I wonder If money And a beach house Could cure My need To not worry When my mind Descends into The dreaded spiral Hold me Hold me And never  Let me go

 Show out Show up In me So that  Nothing Is questioned As to  Whether I’m a  Child  Of the  King The truth Is that You are The only  Reply For  Why Or what ifs Is in  The words Marked in red The blood Of Christ Washes And cleanses My soul And focuses My attention Of not What others do But what  He has called Enabled And equipped These fingers To accomplishment For the Betterment Of a Kingdom Not my own But His Christ with me In me And stationed Planting His flag At the base Of where Love flows Everywhere  He owns me Will you Allow Him To take His will And make  It yours

 Disabled people Can often feel worthless Because we  Don’t bring Home the bacon We are not productive According to the world We go slow When we do move And after such movement Rest is not  A choice It’s a necessity  Upkeep Is expensive We need help Even if  We don’t ask Making friends Who love you For who you Are is a gamble With not the  Best odds You tell Yourself daily To stop fighting  Yet you wake up In a cold sweat If you don’t. You tell  Yourself Don’t explain And then  Give them Some life  Lessons They didn’t  Ask for Necessarily You tell Yourself lies Daily because The truth Stings with The pain Of a thousand  Fire ant bites Jesus Guard my  Heart and tongue Because vile filth Can emanate From places Where only Love is To remain I belong To you Not the  World That only Seeks to destroy  What the  Father  Has staked  His claim On Me

 I’m a list maker. I thrive on them. It makes me happy. Lately, however, the first thing on my list is a reminder to breathe. I’m not in a race. I’m having to be reminded that slow is not a sin. My body has been taking hits which if I’m not careful my mind does too.  Getting older is a privilege off which I’m grateful, but it takes a village to keep what you see from doing a nosedive into the what ifs.  If you know of anyone with a chronic illness if you can get into that therapist’s office stat. Jesus helps more than one knows, but He’s also put qualified individuals there to be of help. I’ve also had to turn off the news. Turn off anything that heightens my own doubts.  I’ve had to turn off celebrity culture. It deifies imperfect human beings who can do no wrong. I’m sorry I used to love it. Now I don’t miss it. What is perception versus actual truth. If that can’t be discerned, I’m out. God is upending everything I once loved. Football is out. It’s no longer about...

 It is A blessing To be Your child What an Immense privilege  And honor To have  The Holy Spirit Alive and well On the Inside of  Me

 It is A privilege  To enjoy What once Was considered  A nuisance To workout  On my  Screened in Porch As I listen And watch The rain fall Is a True gift I’m now Appreciating

 Savoring the season Of living Learning  And seeking The face Of the Creator Without  Pressure of Performance To take The shackles Off God I first had Unburden myself Of mine Human Not divine Flawed Not perfect Without blemish Sinful Without direction Guided with A love That transforms  If its allowed To thrive Without modifiers 

 Peace  Come find me And hold me Up as I face  Difficulties That You  Know full well Love each other Not as others do But as  Our Father Commanded

 There are Layers to me I’ve not shed I’m realizing I’ve still Have A lot of Pride That needs To fall Before I Rise At the behest Of the Father

 I must say God will shock you, if you let Him. I don’t find my writing revolutionary. I’m just a girl with CP.  I’m just trying to make my words resonate. I’m just trying to fulfill His will for me.  God doesn’t care that I don’t know. He just wants me to be sincere as I seek Him.  God wants me to be me. He made me.  God wants me to ask for help, even if I don’t get it.  Any prayer requests my friend?

 Jesus The beginning of Middle  And end Alpha and Omega It starts and ends With You

 The way You love. It’s the standard. Not the exception. You know my sin, I just haven’t been brave enough to confess it in my prayers. You don’t punish or castigate me. You let Your love, Your Holy and Precious Word do it. The Word is doing its job. Now let’s see if I can do what is called of me. Let me be a child of unwavering faith. A steadfast hope rooted in the model of the Triumvirate.  My words aren’t meant to be perfect. They aren’t the ones given to the Son. Make my words mirror my actions. Make me worthy of the call. I’m not equipped. I’m called. Honestly, if I’m open and upfront, there is nothing redemptive about my life. The only thing I hold onto is the grace You humbly bestow on your servant.  Let me be happy and content. All in one. In what You do. In who You are to me. Most importantly, be reminded that my job is not to do yours.  Have a beautiful day friends.  Regine

 In a place, where Your Word is becoming active in my life again. Less of the world, more of You is making my heart sing. I’m still not where I need to be, but my mind, body and soul are unifying.  Grateful Thankful  Blessed Is not a punchline Or lip service To feel And sense  The Holy Presence What a gift I’ve taken For granted

 What is God teaching you today? 1.  Popularity and notoriety is not where it’s at for me. I don’t need everyone to love me, revere me, sing my praises or laud me.  2.  My motives need to be checked daily for envy and jealousy.  3. Savoring surrender is possible.  4. The lowliest servant is just as loved by God as the richest feudal lord.  5.  Peace can be found in a fitting room, a cup of coffee, a kind word and a conversation that feels like a warm hug.  Jesus What you’re teaching me when I’m disciplined enough to shut up and listen is revolutionary. In my exhaustion is where and when you work. Love isn’t loud. It doesn’t need to be shouted to the world. Love doesn’t seek to profit. Let me love people, not judge them because if I’m not careful my sinful self will still do it.  Lord, let me focus on my street not others. My sincerest desire. 

 Jesus You are giving  Me peace Through Internal conflict You work mysteriously I never thought Frustration And agitated irritation  Could lead to To spiritual breakthrough

 I’m realizing that God is reminding me life isn’t a popularity contest. It’s a one on one journey with Him. If everyone on this Earth didn’t understand me, yet He did, I’ve succeeded. It’s okay not to follow a crowd. It’s okay to be misunderstood. It’s okay to take a stand even if you’re the only one doing it. I’m learning what feeds me versus what drains me.  Some of us are better served when we use critical thinking. Some of us need to detach from a world that is so far from the love of the Lord, it’s leaving me stumbling. Some of us are realizing that some atheists live out the love of Christ better than people of faith. Some of us is me.  My season of wrestled agitation is teaching me something peace never could. It’s teaching me patience, not because I’ve asked for it. No, God is giving me what I never wanted, but have needed since my arrival in the world.  Something or someone led me to Psalm 13. Lord, this is where I’m at right now. I’m exhausted yet finding ...

 My brain is a hodgepodge of miscellany right now. Trying to discipline myself to read the Bible, the devotional, be a better human being, manifest the good life. Let me tell you, I fall of the wagon every day it seems. The only thing that seems to center my brain is a childhood activity.  Play Doh is resurrecting my soul. No sacrilege to Jesus. Play Doh is allowing me to indulge a childhood passion to create. The pressure to create with that smelly concoction is not one of perfection, but mindless joy that is surprisingly bearing fruit.  I can roll that colorful confection in any way I please. If there is a mistake, it’s easy to fix, and if not its cheap enough, I don’t fret. I will gladly spare a few dollars at the Wally World to get some more. I don’t know if this will be the summer of rediscovering God through childhood joys.  You don’t want me to chase you. You want me to just be. Rest may be the hardest, yet most vital lesson I learn and relearn daily. With God...

 Welcome to The Rue Starting a new journey. I don’t know what this journey will look like, but I’m willing to try. Try to go outside my comfort zone. This may succeed, it may not. I want to explore something new. I will still blog at R’s Rue, because it’s fun.  The Rue digs for the truthful meaning in the every day. I hope you’ll join me on the journey.